Don’t Put it Off

When a young couple first gets married, they can be so in love with each other that they let a lot of things slide, probably important things to discuss like “I really have always hated peas” or “I prefer that we play tennis instead of golf”. And because we don’t want to hurt our spouse’s feelings, we keep them to ourselves.

Sometimes there can be even tougher issues, such as a spouse who talks too much, spends too much money, or isn’t taking good care of their health. After a number of years with children, mortgages, stressors, health issues, extended family conflicts, we ourselves might have less patience and are more likely to lay our frustrations on our spouse.

If we would learn how to speak with love and in wisdom to our spouses early on, we can avoid a huge pileup of inner discontent and angst. Avoidance isn’t dealing with a problem; it’s sweeping it under the rug and hoping no one notices the huge mountain in the middle of our living room. Our marriages will have a greater understanding and longevity if we speak the truth in love to our spouse.

Not every spouse is going to be open to it. Yours may find ways to run off when it’s time to approach them about the truth. Your first objective is to spend time with God in prayer, seeking His wisdom on how to approach difficult topics. The Lord knows your spouse a lot better than you, and He knows what’s at the root of the problem. Therefore, asking God for insight and discernment will give you the greatest opportunity.

Passivity and avoidance will never result in a good marriage. We must first look to God for direction and insight into sharing the hard truths with our spouse.